"Love is the only game that is not called on account of darkness"

"You did what?" Sam snarled turning on his father angrily. He started to pace up and down the hospital room. Sam stopped his pacing and looked towards his father glaring. Before John Winchester could move away from his younger son Sam stepped into his space pushing him up against the wall. "Tell me you didn't send him away," Sam hissed.

"I did what I thought was best," John replied calmly. He pushed at Sam's chest side-stepping before his younger son could push him closer to the wall. "Dean will get the help he needs. The Rehabilitation Centre will sort out his meds and help him cope with.....," John waved his hand in the air suddenly lost for words. "And he can live there for as long as he wants. I made sure of that."

"With what?" Sam barked. "You can't even say it." Sam accused as he started to pace up and down again ignoring his father lost in his anger. Sam could feel his rage burning inside him threatening to consume him with its fury. He clenched and unclenched his fists trying to control himself as he paced. But he couldn't believe it. His father had made Dean leave. Persuaded him to leave when Sam was asleep. Hadn't even given Sam a chance to see or speak to Dean. And Sam hated his father for that.

John looked away guiltily. Sam's accusation hurt but deep down he knew that it was true. He couldn't voice the words. His elder son was hurt and he couldn't bring himself to say the words out loud. John looked at his pacing younger son. "It's for the best," he said smoothly.

Sam snorted. He turned to scowl at his father. "You and I both know that Dean won't be at the Rehabilitation Centre," Sam said narrowing his eyes.

"I made sure he got on the bus myself," John answered although, like Sam, he knew that Dean would get off the bus at the first opportunity and probably had no intention of ever going to the Centre. John felt a stab of guilt at his actions knowing that he had been purposely cruel to Dean and was responsible for encouraging and convincing his elder son to leave. John pushed the guilt down and looked towards his other son.

Sam snorted again. "And Dean will get off the bus and .... and disappear. You know that. I know that."

"I was assured by the doctors that he would get there safely," John replied knowing that he was trying to convince himself. His feelings of guilt came back threatening to overwhelm him. He had taken Dean to the bus knowing full well that his eldest son would disappear. "There were a few other people on the bus going to the Centre. As well as some nurses," John continued.

"He's not a damn parcel," Sam snapped.

"I know that," John retorted suddenly angry with his son. "The doctors speak highly of this Rehab Centre. And they said it would be good for Dean. He'll be looked after..,"

"We could have looked after him," Sam interrupted. "We should be looking after him," he enunciated each word to make sure his father understood. "Not some strangers in a glorified care home. We're his family. Or have you forgotten that."

"No I haven't forgotten but our way of life is difficult," John reasoned. "It wouldn't be easy with me on the road all the time and you back at college."

"College," Sam said confused staring at his father. "I'm not going back to college. And you..... we killed the demon. It's over."

"I thought," John started say.

"You thought what?" Sam interrupted his voice low with a hint of danger. "I can't believe you thought I would just leave Dean and go back to college. And you.... you don't have to hunt anymore."

"Sam," John said. "Not everything supernatural died with the yellow eyed bastard. There are still people out there that need my help."

"And so does Dean," Sam yelled. "He needs us. And you just let him leave. I don't care what you do. Go chase your demons. I don't give a damn. But I'm going to find Dean."

"Sammy," John started to protest.

"You don't get to call me that ever again," Sam shouted stepping close to his father again.

"Now you're acting like a child," John said calmly. He could feel his temper rising and bit the inside of his mouth in an effort to control it. John didn't want to fight with Sam. They had spent so many years fighting and shouting at each other and John was suddenly tired of it.

It was obvious that Sam had other ideas as he pushed his father up against the wall. "How does it feel knowing that your obsession with killing the demon blinded your son?" Sam snarled angrily. "The demon's thugs beat and kicked him unconscious." Sam leaned in closer. John flinched slightly. "They kicked him in the head over and over as punishment because you are," he poked his father in the chest. "A stubborn bastard who doesn't give a damn about anything or anyone except revenge."

John recoiled at the words. "Mind your mouth," John yelled back his anger suddenly getting the better of him.

"I was protecting you," John protested.

"What about Dean?" Sam yelled. "Were you protecting him? Dean's blind and it's your fault." John's temper got the best of him. He raised his hand slapping Sam hard across the face. The sound of skin against skin seemed to echo around the room. Both John and Sam stared at each other in shock. John took a step forward but Sam moved backwards shrugging away from his father's hand. He held his hand held up against his face rubbing at the tingling skin where his father had slapped him. "You didn't even let him say goodbye," Sam whispered.

John desperately wanted to take his younger son in his arms but he knew that it wouldn't be welcomed. Not only had he hurt Dean he had hurt Sam too. "It's what Dean wanted," John said deciding that it would be easier to stick with a lie. He dug in his pocket. "He wanted you to have the Impala," John dangled Dean's keys from his hand.

Sam moved forwards holding his palm upwards. John dropped the keys into his hand and Sam closed his fingers one by one around the keys. Tears stung at his eyes as he felt the cold metal of the keys in his hand. He looked up at his father. "I don't believe it's what Dean wanted," Sam said quietly. "I know him better than you ever could. I love him more than you ever have. And he wouldn't just run off and leave without saying goodbye."

John couldn't help the old jealousy surfacing a little. He had always been envious of his sons' close bond. "I'm just telling you how it is son," he said. "It was Dean's decision to leave. He thought it was better for all of us," John absently kicked at the floor not able to look up at his youngest son. It was a lie and he knew it. Dean had been surprisingly difficult to persuade and he knew he had hurt his eldest son deeply with his actions and words.

John had always known that the bond between Dean and Sam was strong and suspected that left to their own devices his sons would take their close relationship to the next level and that was something John couldn't condone and wouldn't allow. So he had played on their weaknesses to separate them - Sam's need for a proper life and a college education and Dean's need to always please and obey him. But he had severely under-estimated how strong their devotion to each other had been. He had hurt his sons and it was something that he was never going to be able to take back, but John honestly believed that he had done the right thing in persuading Dean to leave. Dean would be looked after and Sam could return to college. Both his sons could move on with their lives.

Slowing his pace and breathing heavily Sam found the Impala easily. He slumped in the driver's seat still breathing hard. The engine roared into life as Sam turned the ignition. Sam could see his father jogging towards him. He put his foot down hard on the gas pedal the wheels spinning slightly as he raced out of the parking lot away from his father.

Two hours later Sam pulled into a roadside diner parking carefully. He slumped back against the seat. His anger at his father had slowly subsided and he took deep breaths willing himself to keep calm. Sam let his mind wander and immediately his thoughts turned to Dean and his stomach lurched at the thought of his brother out there somewhere blind and alone. He could feel his anger rising again and he pushed it down. Sam ran his hand absently along the dashboard and the front seat. The car had been their home for over two years. They had argued, laughed, cried and even slept in the Impala. Sam could almost feel Dean in the car, smell his uniqueness which seemed to be bonded with the leather of the seat. Everything about the Impala shouted Dean and it made Sam feel lonely and lost.

Sam loved Dean and not as a brother. He had always loved Dean but was too frightened to tell his brother how he felt in case Dean was disgusted and rejected him. However, over the last six months Sam had felt a subtle change in their relationship. And he knew that Dean had felt the change too. They had been dancing around each other as if they both sensed that their connection had changed into something romantic and possibly sexual. Sam had been about to challenge Dean when their father had called telling them that he had closed in on the demon. A week later, Dean was in the hospital fighting for his life in the ICU. When he woke up two weeks later he was blind and suffering from severe headaches and seizures caused by the brutal attack at the hands of the demon and its thugs. Sam just couldn't bring himself to burden his brother with his feelings of love when Dean had so much more to cope with.

Sam slammed his fists against the steering wheel over and over until he slumped forwards his head resting on the top of the steering wheel. Sam let his tears come, letting them flow freely down his face. He had never felt so lost and alone in his life. "Dean," Sam breathed.

To be continued.......